You’re Not Alone: Elder Law

“That’s the greatest gift your mother could have given you!”

Those were the exact words the doctor said to us when a feeding tube had become the last option for my mother to eat. It was the final week or so before she passed away. We were at the hospital at the time, just a day or so before my mother was moved to hospice care. Her living will specifically forbid a feeding tube or any other life-sustaining measures.

Anyone’s final days, along with funerals, rarely bring out the best in people, and our family was
certainly no exception.  Fortunately, my folks had living wills that were kept up to date. When a
feeding tube became my mother’s only choice, she had already decided against it years before.

Remember my purpose in writing the You’re Not Alone series – it’s about helping you through
many of the challenges of dealing with Alzheimer’s because we’ve already walked that path. And
today’s point is about the importance of elder law and knowing what your loved ones want, long
before Alzheimer’s robs them of logical reasoning.

The sad thing is that so many families waste so much time in denial that by the time they contact an attorney to build their loved one’s legacy and final wishes, it’s often too late. This is more than just a key family member having power of attorney – this is about the patient’s wishes on ALL levels.

With today’s USA estimate of over seven million people with Alzheimer’s, everyone knows someone who’s been affected. I’ve heard so many stories of siblings fighting over what a parent’s wishes might be. Acceptance and denial might seem like opposite extremes, but they’re bookends, with the patient and the family caught in the middle.

Few things weigh heavier on a person than second-guessing if they’ve made the right decision. So, the battles begin, and all it really does is divide a family and add tension to an already horrible situation. Just as I said in one of my earlier posts about caregivers needing respite to help their patients, the same is true of decision-making. The more big decisions that can be made early on, the easier the journey.

Meeting with an attorney early in the Alzheimer’s journey can make a significant difference and
reduce the stress of decision-making at all levels. From health care to estate planning and everything in the middle, it’s essential to find an attorney specializing in elder law. And it needs to happen as early as possible in the course of the disease.

Learn more about planning ahead for legal matters from the Alzheimer’s Association at alz.org or call their 24/7 Helpline at 800.272.3900.

“There are only four kinds of people in the world: Those who have been caregivers.
Those who are currently caregivers. Those who will need a caregiver.”

–Rosalyn Carter