Tips on Interacting with Someone Living with Dementia in Public Areas: The Grocery Store

By Carol White, MSW, Certified Dementia Practitioner, Certified Alzheimer’s/Dementia Care Trainer, Alzheimer’s Association Mission Mover and Volunteer Community Educator

While checking out at a local store purchasing colored washcloths, the woman in front of me had her mother with her who was living with dementia. The mother started touching and feeling all the different colored washcloths in the pack. Her daughter was visibly upset and did not seem to know what to do. 

When striking up a conversation, I asked her how the washcloths felt and what her favorite color was. We had a nice interaction while her daughter checked out. As they were leaving, the daughter looked at me and mouthed the words “thank you.” I just smiled and thanked the mother for our conversation. 

The clerk said that she did not know what to do and was glad I was patient and understanding. I took the opportunity to share some tips with the clerk on how to interact with someone living with dementia in this kind of situation. 

• Take a deep breath and smile.
• Remain calm and go with the flow – they are doing the best they can. 
• Engage the person and keep it simple. Ask what their favorite color is. If you don’t get a response, just smile and say something simple like, “These washcloths sure are soft,” or “I like the red color the best.” They will be happy, and perhaps you just gave them the best gift of engagement and sharing a meaningful time together. 
• Don’t yell or grab the items away. 
• Focus on abilities, not disabilities. 
• Know that you helped someone feel safe by showing kindness and understanding.

Visit alz.org for more information, including how to communicate with someone living with Alzheimer’s or other dementia at different stages of the disease. The Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 Helpline is available day or night at 800.272.3900.